The Truth
by aminominominously
Summary: AU--What if the legendary Duel of Fates had gone...differently? Read to discover the true story. The future, fate, and destiny of our heroes will be changed forever.


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The Truth

Summary: What really happened during that legendary Duel of the Fates between Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Darth Maul? Read to discover the truth.

Disclaimer: These characters and the Star Wars universe were amazingly not created by me, aminominominously, best reviewer in the universe. They belong to George Lucas, a nerd without a life. Nah, I'm kidding, he's a genius.

I'm very proud of this story, so everyone review and help boost my self esteem.

I'm am aminominominously.

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(Our heroes meet up with Satan - I mean Darth Maul - and the Duel of Fates music starts.)

"We'll handle this," Qui-Gon says as he and Obi-Wan draw their lightsabers.

Queen Amidala just stands there for a moment, staring into space with a goofy smile on her face. The music stops, Qui-Gon clears his throat, and the chirping of crickets can be heard.

"Uh, you can go now, your highness," Qui-Gon says. 

Silence.

"Hmmm...huh? What?" The Queen finally seems to have come back to her normal, confused self. "Okay, fine. Geez, we'll leave. Don't get all excited now." The Queen and her posse leave, pretending to go do something useful. 

The Duel of Fates music starts up again.

The fight begins with Obi-Wan and Darth Maul doing ridiculous and unnecessary stunts, flips, and little twirly turns. Darth Maul runs into the hallway and decides that he needs a rest. The pink screens turn on, blocking Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan from getting to Darth Maul. Qui-Gon sits down and crosses his legs.

"Oh, no," Obi-Wan moans. "Again with the meditating."

Qui-Gon glares at his padawan. "Shut up, my young apprentice."

"Okay," Obi-Wan says and starts to fiddle with his hands. 

Just then, the pink screen opens. Satan - no, Darth Maul - has decided that he isn't tired anymore. Obi-Wan charges after him into the room with the bottomless pit while Qui-Gon still sits on the ground, meditating. 

"A little help here?!" Obi-Wan yells breathlessly at Qui-Gon after a few minutes of fighting.

"No, damnit, I'm busy," Qui-Gon answers, continuing to meditate.

More minutes pass by, and Obi-Wan is about to pass out from exhaustion. Satan - Darth Maul grins evilly and is thankful that the twenty cans of Mountain Dew he drank earlier are finally kicking in.

"Okay, I am done," Qui-Gon says, getting up and casually approaching the fight. He yawns, activates his lightsaber, and joins the fight. Obi-Wan walks off to the side and quietly watches. 

A few minutes of fighting passes before S-Darth Maul stabs Qui-Gon in the leg. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Obi-Wan shouts, not quite sure why he is shouting. 

Qui-Gon falls to the ground and does a somersault. He moans in pain and agony and starts rolling on his side toward the pit. He is still clutching his lightsaber. He keeps rolling closer and closer to the pit, continuing to moan. Obi-Wan and Maul just stare at him. A minute passes as Qui-Gon is finally about five feet away from the pit. But he doesn't stop. He just keeps going. He gets to the edge of the pit and rolls off, yelling "Train the boy!" over and over again as he falls. Obi-Wan and Darth Maul stand there for a moment. Darth Maul runs toward the pit, saying "Wait! I need that lightsaber as a trophy to show off!" He leaps into the pit, leaving Obi-Wan completely alone.

"Now!" Obi-Wan says, even though there is no one else in the room.. A few moments pass. "Okay, you talked me into it," he says and walks out.

Queen Amidala greets him outside. "Obi-Wan! You have defeated him?" 

Obi-Wan stares at her for a moment. "Uh, well...heh, yeah, I did," he says, grinning sheepishly. "But my master..."

Palpatine comes up beside the queen. "Yes, it is a shame that Qui-Gon was killed by that horrible creature. But we are forever indebted to your bravery."

"Okay," Obi-Wan says. "Sweet."

"What about Anakin? What is to become of him, now that Qui-Gon is gone?" Queen Amidala asks. Everyone is surprised that she actually has some understanding of what is happening.

Obi-Wan tries to remember what Qui-Gon's last words were. Something about a train? He shrugs. "I don't know."

"I'll take him off your hands, Obi-Wan," Palpatine says quickly. "Don't worry, he will be well taken care of."

"Okay," Obi-Wan says cheerfully. Anakin approaches them.

"I just blew up the droid control ship all by myself, saving hundreds of lives and winning the war in the process!" Anakin states proudly.

Nobody really cares. "Whatever," Obi-Wan says. 

"Am I to become a Jedi now?" Anakin asks hopefully.

"Actually, no," Obi-Wan answers. "You get to go with this nice man." He points to Palpatine. Palpatine grins evilly.

"It will be my pleasure to train--I mean take care of him," he says. "Come."

Anakin follows Palpatine, glancing back for a moment. Palpatine slams the door behind them.

Obi-Wan and Amidala stand in silence for a moment. 

"Wanna make out?" Obi-Wan asks rather blandly.

"Okay," Amidala answers. Smooching ensues.

Everyone lives happily ever after, except for Jar-Jar who was really killed in that war between the Gungans and the droid army. (YAY!!! everyone shouts) 

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. And then one not so very special day, I came to my computer, I sat down, and I wrote the true story. A story about a time long ago, a story about a different galaxy, a story about the retarded people, but most of all, a story about love. Well, not really. But it is a story about truth: the true events of the ending of The Phantom Menace. A true legend that will live forever. The end.

Obi-Wan pops his head in. "Okay," he says.

FINISH LINEAR EQUATION y = mx + b 

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Was not that wonderful? Yep, that's what really happened. So review and I will love you until my dying day. Actually, I won't, but just review anyway. I'm am aminominominously.

Race me to the stars, or else, maybe the finish linear equation. I took the road less traveled and wrote this story about a man and a courtesan who battle with laserswords. I hope you aren't confused like the wife like mike. I wanna be like Mike Seaver or Billy-Bob Thornton. Save. Okay, done now, just had to get my innermost deepest thoughts out.


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